When anxiety won't leave you alone: Why it happens & how therapy can help
- rosanneplease
- May 2
- 5 min read
Updated: 6 days ago
Anxiety affects all of us at some point in our lives, and anxiety symptoms can manifest in different ways. You might experience physical signs like sweating or trembling, or racing thoughts and a feeling of being out of control. Sometimes these feelings are manageable, but at other times it can seem like they’re taking over.
You might find that anxiety and overthinking go hand in hand – you constantly expect the worst, or replay things over and over in your head, even things from years ago.
Perhaps you feel it physically: your gut starts bubbling or cramping, your stomach gets upset.
It might be so bad you’re struggling with work, or it’s affecting other parts of your life, like withdrawing from social situations.
And when you try to distract yourself, it doesn’t seem to help – if anything, it makes things worse.
What causes anxiety?
Sometimes anxiety can be caused by lifestyle issues, like lack of sleep, having too much caffeine or not eating well. Perhaps you’re too busy, overloading your schedule and trying to fit too much in. It’s also worth thinking about your screen time. Scrolling through social media or news feeds, especially last thing at night, can keep your nervous system in a state of low-level alert, making it harder to wind down or switch off.
When anxiety starts to feel overwhelming, this can stem from long-term stress that’s been quietly building, until you don’t even remember what it’s like to feel okay.
Diversity and difference also increase the chance of mental health problems like anxiety. For example, LGBTIQ+ people are 2-3 times more likely to experience anxiety than heterosexual people,1 and a recent survey found that 47% of autistic people suffer with severe anxiety.2
Anxiety could be a sign of an underlying medical condition, such as an overactive thyroid. If you think this might be the case, it’s worth making an appointment with your GP to rule out any underlying issue.
There can also be more deep-rooted causes. You might have experienced trauma at some point in your life, whether as a child or more recently, that’s still impacting you now. Or perhaps anxiety was something you absorbed growing up – learned from the adults around you, or shaped by a stressful or unpredictable household. It might also be that something inside drives you: a need to be perfect, to make others happy, or a fear of failure. These kinds of patterns, developed early, can quietly fuel anxiety long into adulthood.
What to do when struggling with anxiety
If anxiety is feeling unmanageable, you don’t have to deal with it on your own. Reaching out to a trusted friend or family member can help, even if you’re not yet ready to talk about what’s going on underneath. Sometimes just saying “I’m finding things hard at the moment” is enough to feel a little less alone with it. If you’d rather not involve people close to you, there are also helplines and online communities where you can connect with others who understand.
When anxiety spikes, grounding techniques can help bring you back to the present moment. Here are a few to try:
Physical Grounding: Focus on physical sensations to bring yourself back to the present moment, such as pressing your feet firmly into the floor, holding something warm like a mug of tea, or noticing the texture of something nearby.
Sensory Awareness: Identify 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell and 1 you can taste.
Breathing Exercises: Extend your exhale – breathe in for 4 counts and exhale for 6.
Some people find it helpful to do a ‘brain dump’: write down the fears or overwhelming thoughts that feel most urgent to you. The act of setting it down on paper can help to externalise them, making them feel less powerful.
You could also try visualising something comforting, for example picture a person, place or memory that brings you joy in vivid detail.
Movement can help reduce tension and bring you back into your body, rather than staying caught up in your thoughts. Exercise is great if you’re up to it, but if that feels like too much, gentle stretching or a short walk can work just as well.
When anxiety starts to take hold, it can help to do the opposite of how you feel, so when you feel rushed inside and stressed, slow things right down. Try some simple activities like reading, cooking, crafting, or decluttering.
Alongside these in-the-moment techniques, lifestyle changes can also help with anxiety. Building some longer-term habits can make a real difference. For example, maintain a routine, like keeping regular eating and sleeping times to keep energy levels stable and help anchor on to something consistent. Try getting outside more – research has shown that spending 20 minutes outdoors daily, especially in green spaces, lowers anxiety, reduces cortisol and improves mood.3 You can start small – something like sitting in the garden or park and focusing on the sounds of nature.
How person-centred therapy helps with anxiety
If anxiety has become part of the background noise of your life, you’re not alone in feeling this way – and real support is available. Therapy can offer a space to understand what’s driving it beneath the surface, with a counsellor to navigate alongside you.
Person-centred therapy works by focusing on you as a whole person, not just your anxiety as a set of symptoms. Together, we’ll explore what might be underneath the overthinking, the physical tension or sense of dread. Often, anxiety is telling us something. It might be pointing to unmet needs, old patterns that no longer serve you, or a life that’s been moving too fast for too long. Therapy creates the space to slow down and listen.
As your self-awareness grows, so does your ability to recognise what triggers your anxiety and interrupt those patterns before they take hold. It doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t need to. But many people find that, over time, anxiety shifts from something that controls them to something they can understand and move through. That can feel like a genuine shift towards feeling more grounded, more resilient and more like yourself again.
Anxiety can feel very isolating, but you don’t have to manage it alone. If you’d like to find out more about working with me, I offer a free initial consultation. Get in touch via my contact page and we can go from there.
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If you need urgent mental health support and need to talk to someone immediately, you can call the NHS on 111 or the Samaritans on 116 123.
References:
Journal of General Internal Medicine (2015), Sexual Minorities in England Have Poorer Health and Worse Health Care Experiences: A National Survey.
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/mental-health/anxiety
